DREAMS

Walking to a shopping complex along an unfamiliar stretch of urban road, not sure I had companions or was alone; a Whole Foods market was being built. Walked this interior, possibly of a motel chain; had bright red printed matching quilts on the beds. May have been looking for a toilet; a woman and a child were also in there at the other end of the room and paid little to no attention to me. Ended up in this other room that seemed to be a larger toilet room; a man in a wheelchair seemed to be being helped by his companion to get into position to use some sort of lifting mechanism, either for a toilet or a bath. I eventually peed on this long dust-pan-styled contraption - a plastic holdable 'bed-pan' sort of thing, where if you peed in the right spot, it would run down and be caught within. Used it (with other people in the same room, yet), then may have fumbled/upended it. Got all worried I'd spilled it. Finished emptying it out/rinsing it in a large sink area; also thought I saw bits of citrus fruit in said sink. Errr....Bad....combination.

Clarification:

I apparently flicked some cells away from a 96-well plate - the other person who had a calamity yesterday in lab was a med school student doing reasearch, and it was another person, this guy, who was the Idiot in her case, discarding her cells.

Stressed, Over-worked, Depressed...

Maybe it wasn't the best time to start something as near a diet as no matter. And all I do is eat lesser portions of food;l nothing's forbidden.

Oh, and no carb-binging at night.

Yesterday, I sat there at work, feeling like shite generally (even before those couple of screw-ups started happening to me and the others), and thought: I've been self-medicating with food for the last 20 f*cking years - that's why I'm at this higher but very stable for a long time setpoint. I've been self-medicating (eating for serotonin, etc) and now that I'm not...I feel like shite. I'm coming out of my 'food-fog'...and now I get to re-meet the real me - an irritably-angry Crank. There's a reason people settle at various, higher weights - and they eat pretty much exactly enough on an ongoing basis to maintain that specific setpoint.

No, I'm not using that as an excuse to relapse.

Just an observation.

F*ck, I hope I pull out of this enough for Gally weekend. I really don't need to be sitting around as the weekend's official killjoy, feeling like a f*cking always-on-the-edge-of-tears zombie with cotton-wool head.

*head-desks*

Seems it's okay...I didn't know the cell pellet behaves differently once the cells're fixed...so it stuck in a different pattern on the well sides, leaving me assuming something had gone terribly wrong.

So there's apparently still enough, and I freaked out yesterday for no reason.

*goes from banging head against the wall for thinking she'd screwed up to banging head against the wall for panicking and not having enough faith in her own 15 years+ of bench work abilities*

(no subject)

See, the thing about Station V3 is, the subtlty of it's bizarreness.

It's sly.