kalibex: (Default)
( Feb. 9th, 2020 08:09 am)
Seemed be on the grounds of my childhood (and current) home. A woman visited, bringing an ill-behaved small horse or pony...who scared off one female cat (she seemed to me to have been brought from elsewhere recently). I later (late enough so I felt Guilty for not going sooner) went calling for the cat, but she didn't re-appear...though several others (strangers, or strays) did.
kalibex: (Default)
( Dec. 31st, 2019 06:34 pm)
Seemed to be in my dad‘s Stainglass workshop, attending some lecture/interview event organized by Gordon White. Whoever he was going to feature was a somebody in the esoteric community. It seems to just be a small gathering, maybe five or six people. Gordon suddenly seemed to get information, possibly about the guest speaker, And kind of turned to me as I was closest to him sitting to his right, and said ruefully that he was going to pass, that is die, soon.  It was not delivered as being tragic, but definitely rueful. Just after this, as we were about to start, we suddenly got word that upwards on 100 people were also coming for this event. It had just gotten a lot bigger. I got up and moved my chair back, in a “We have to make room, open up the circle” kind of away (although the room we seemed to be in could never fit that many people).

Not sure if I stayed for the whole event, but next I was leaving that venue walking out into what looked like a larger area, possibly for a larger event of which this gathering has been a part - i.e., it did not look like part of my childhood home anymore. I was apparently headed off somewhere.

-  -   -

Earlier a dream of being in an interior space, at school or university, and seeing a faculty member show up. She was a female professor, and apparently teaching one of my classes which I had failed to attend during the semester. Instead of just being aware of that and feeling guilty and ashamed, here the actual professor showed up and matter-of-factly proceeded to advise me to drop the class, and she could do it for me immediately. As in, there was no way I could suddenly now complete all the work and assignments that I would need to pass. She wasn’t even angry, just matter of fact.

I felt kind of bad about it, but I think, realize there was nothing to be done at this point. I would have to retake that, or a similar class, as I simply had no motivation to do the work for that class.

Shortly thereafter, I saw my dad and I somewhat guiltily mentioned that I'd  just essentially wasted or cost us at least a grand, as I’d have to retake the course. He did not seem to be visibly upset, not thrilled, but did not act visibly upset.

I myself wasn’t actively as upset as I might have expected either, more like too tired or dysfunctional to get that emotional. Presumably why I'd given up on the class.

-   -   -

Vague impression of traveling somewhere out in public, in a somewhat urban area, but with some nice landscaping perhaps. May have been on a bus. May have been going to retrieve something, perhaps a bicycle, that I had left somewhere. It had to be retrieved. There was a sense of not being sure how long it would take to get to the location, worrying about successfully retrieving said object, ect.
kalibex: (Default)
( Apr. 16th, 2019 08:49 pm)
Was asked by someone from an online group whose discussion boards I used to read (until I decided that I found the group to be not collinear enough anymore) to help and/or give emotional support to the group's founding leader.  It looked as if this would require climbing up the vertical wooden shaft, perhaps with a ladder, to where she was.

Guilt for having ghosted said group (possibly from having offered to do a podcast transcription IRL that I never finished) had me considering doing so, though possibly my original ambivalence were still in effect as well.
kalibex: (Default)
( Apr. 14th, 2019 08:49 am)
School Anxiety dream, while wandering some interior place and/or urban wanderings. I was in some class where I wasn't keeping up in some way - was a maths class. I was anticipating with Dread having to tell the instructor that I hadn't done the homework, etc. Yet I couldn't seem to settle and, for example, do what I could from the homework assignment before class to have at least some done...
kalibex: (Default)
( Jul. 21st, 2017 07:07 am)
Guit/Stress dreams.  Dreamed I was in a house, and I let my cat go too close to an open (no screen) window while were on the 2nd floor, and I was sitting with my feet on the windowsill...and he lost his balance slipped, and fell out.  I didn't freak (for a wonder), but got up and carefully, deliberately looked out and down.  I caught a glimpse of him down there, and got that he was still alive.

Went down and out to find him, and found him being attacked (in a slow way) by another cat. Chased the other cat off him and was preparing to pick him up and take him inside. Said to myself in a self-congratulatory way,"This is why we get them their rabies shots!!"
.

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