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Dreamed I was conversing with L, from an online forum I frequent these days. 'Feel' of the conversation seemed calm, mellow, possibly 'consultation-ey'. Which is interesting, as a real-life interaction on the board later today with this person left me feeling pretty embarrassed/triggered (related to ongoing 'female authority figure issues', which are, of course, ultimately 'Mommy Issues'). I remain 'wary' of her for that reason - and if I feel criticized by her (especially if it 'reads' 'snarky' to me), immediately show belly whilst feeling a reallyreally strong combination of resentment / embarrassment). Fun times.
* * *
This second sequence was from a short sleep period after a brief waking, and took place during the hour before I woke for the day.
I woke up (not in my usual living space), and realized, to my horror, that I'd overslept, and it was already 15 minutes past the time I ought to have been at work. (I pride myself on being on time the vast, vast majority of the time - been a few minutes later, oh, probably once or twice in the 6 years I've been here.) Fumbled frantically and guiltily to call my workplace and apologize, but couldn't seem to get my phone to work. Kept trying to press numbers, get it to connect, etc. Proceeded to pull a real wobbly, whereupon several people entered the room, as if they'd heard / were attracted by my emotionalism. It's not clear to me, looking back, if I 'knew' them. Their presence didn't seem threatening (although I might have been too upset to get a feel for them), but they seemed bemused at the very least by my reactions, and in fact to have this general 'What the hell are you freaking out about?!' attitude. As if they'd noticed it, and were not impressed by the reason for my wobbly. There might have been a bit of mockery involved, though that would have been something to the effect of 'Calm the f*ck down, will you?' Bizarrely, one of them seemed to grasp me by my head - as if they could grasp something softer and more flexible than a skull, obviously (energy body?) - and wave me back and forth - as if trying to 'shake' me out of my fit - almost as if an alternative to slapping someone who's having hysterics. Also bizarrely, while I was really Annoyed by that particular action ('bellowing' something to the affect of LEGGO!!!), I wasn't angry in an OhMyGodI'mBeingAttacked kind of way. In any case, seemed to me they were annoyed or rolling their eyes over my wobbly, not apparently benefitting from it. It could be they were someone who knew me, or of me (but maybe not that well) and came in there simply to get me to shut up.
* * *
This second sequence was from a short sleep period after a brief waking, and took place during the hour before I woke for the day.
I woke up (not in my usual living space), and realized, to my horror, that I'd overslept, and it was already 15 minutes past the time I ought to have been at work. (I pride myself on being on time the vast, vast majority of the time - been a few minutes later, oh, probably once or twice in the 6 years I've been here.) Fumbled frantically and guiltily to call my workplace and apologize, but couldn't seem to get my phone to work. Kept trying to press numbers, get it to connect, etc. Proceeded to pull a real wobbly, whereupon several people entered the room, as if they'd heard / were attracted by my emotionalism. It's not clear to me, looking back, if I 'knew' them. Their presence didn't seem threatening (although I might have been too upset to get a feel for them), but they seemed bemused at the very least by my reactions, and in fact to have this general 'What the hell are you freaking out about?!' attitude. As if they'd noticed it, and were not impressed by the reason for my wobbly. There might have been a bit of mockery involved, though that would have been something to the effect of 'Calm the f*ck down, will you?' Bizarrely, one of them seemed to grasp me by my head - as if they could grasp something softer and more flexible than a skull, obviously (energy body?) - and wave me back and forth - as if trying to 'shake' me out of my fit - almost as if an alternative to slapping someone who's having hysterics. Also bizarrely, while I was really Annoyed by that particular action ('bellowing' something to the affect of LEGGO!!!), I wasn't angry in an OhMyGodI'mBeingAttacked kind of way. In any case, seemed to me they were annoyed or rolling their eyes over my wobbly, not apparently benefitting from it. It could be they were someone who knew me, or of me (but maybe not that well) and came in there simply to get me to shut up.