(no subject)

[kalibex]

"The World Health Organization has released a study that verifies the United States is the undisputed champion in mental illness*, dominating various pathologies ranging from anxiety to depression to poor impulse control. We easily vanquished underachieving Old Europe in post-traumatic stress syndrome, bipolar disorder, and bulimia nervosa. Additionally, our magnificent land trounced the supposedly productive Asian countries in both senility and agoraphobia, while coasting past Africa in pediatric hyperactivity. In fact, there would have been a gold medal sweep for America if Ukraine had not cheated by submitting doctored urine to edge us out in substance abuse.

In retaliation for Ukrainian treachery, “Chicken Kiev” will henceforth be known by every patriotic American as “Chicken Freedom”..."

Comments

[drake57.livejournal.com]

Of course we lead in mental illness...look who's President.

[campion7.livejournal.com]

AMEN BROTHAH!

*checks voice mail for a call from her psych*

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

Chicken Freedom! :D (Actually, that just sounds like free-range birds.)

Personally, I'm waiting for (even though I won't eat it) Freedom Bacon to get back at us godless hedonistic Canadians for marrying anybody to anything.