Classic 'anxiety dream' - was at my house where I grew up, getting ready for (high) school (where I had to catch a bus). Was running late, figured I'd miss the bus, having trouble deciding what to wear, etc. Knew I didn't know precisely what I should be doing once there (what classes, etc.) Since that setting proved problematic for me (the initial bullying), that vague memory was probably was not helping when it came to contemplating returning to that setting. A cat (maybe my current one?) was around. I was aware enough of my present day circumstances to say to myself that my dad could totally drop me off (which would have involved going to the next town over, as my high school was a regional one), as he was retired! Yet, not lucid enough to recall that my mother is gone. Or that I no longer lived at my childhood home. Etc. Or that the layout of the place didn't really match the house where I grew up - at one point I was on the toilet (an almost semi outdoors outhouse area), and warned a couple (young man and woman; didn't know them) off from entering the house (at an entrance that we actually don't have) near where I'd been hanging out before. They paused in what they were doing, glancing over at me bemusedly with this 'Say what??' manner. Other people seemed to be nearby in the backyard.
Along the way, earlier, may have been some urban wandering, but if so, recall of this bit fades - an occasional flash of a sense that it happened.
So, the classic anxiety-inducing scenarios include:
Time stress about getting ready to catch the bus to high school
Stress about knowing that I don't know what's going on if and when I get to school
Going to the bathroom at risk of being seen by others
The common theme lately is that I'm worried about making mistakes that I fear will incur the wrath of authority figures in my life. Has this been my underlying anxiety all along?
No EE mediation
No biphasic sleep
Along the way, earlier, may have been some urban wandering, but if so, recall of this bit fades - an occasional flash of a sense that it happened.
So, the classic anxiety-inducing scenarios include:
Time stress about getting ready to catch the bus to high school
Stress about knowing that I don't know what's going on if and when I get to school
Going to the bathroom at risk of being seen by others
The common theme lately is that I'm worried about making mistakes that I fear will incur the wrath of authority figures in my life. Has this been my underlying anxiety all along?
No EE mediation
No biphasic sleep