*sigh*

Came to a pretty basic 'duh' realization today regarding the reason humans lash out abusively at each other at all: it's a misapplication, a perversion of the fight instinct.

When we're in any kind of pain, the instinct to fight (or flight) is activated. In 'fight's' case, many of us lash out at something, anything, on the off chance that we'll drive off the source of the pain. Not saying it's appropriate - just that it's suddenly @#$ing understandable.

But the vast majority of the time.... it's emotional pain we're dealing with. What with those lovely hypertrophied primate brains of ours, and our inevitable neuroticism... means that the 'cause' isn't usually outside us.

There's nothing to drive off...

...but most of us attack, anyway.

Article of the Day

7 Basic Human Needs Steps

Apparently, if you chuck a frog into a pan of boiling water, it will hop straight out again. But if you put him in cold water and slowly heat it up, he will sit there until well and truly poached.

Problems due to missing 'basics' in peoples lives tend to develop over time, and so can be easily missed. Then, when the problem arises - be it anxiety, depression, addiction or some other nasty - they can't for the life of them fathom out why!

It's therefore a great idea to know what your own garden needs in order to grow well, so when you see something starting to wither, you can check your list and apply the necessary nutrients.
So here's the list. (At least, our list. If you think we've missed any, do let us know!)

1. The need to give and receive attention.

"No Man Is An Island"
Without regular quality contact with other people, mental condition, emotional state and behaviour can suffer quite drastically. This is often particularly obvious in elderly people who have become isolated. After days alone, their first contact may be their GP, who sees them for 10 minutes.

They are highly likely during this short period to appear 'strange' as their thwarted need for attention asserts itself in an outpouring of communication. If the GP takes this as representative of the patient's general mental condition, they may prescribe drugs, where really a few hours of being listened to would suffice.

You may also have noticed this in evening-class attendees who command the teacher's attention all the time, asking seemingly daft questions and not really listening to the answers!

2. Taking heed of the mind body connection.

This is so important, and so often neglected. Without correct and regular nutrition, sleep and exercise, your psychological state can suffer considerably. It is often seen that young people, on leaving home and the structure that provides, succumb to one mental illness or another. Their mealtimes, sleep patterns and other regular habits become disrupted, with predictable consequences.

It seems that people are increasingly treating themselves as machines!

3. The need for purpose, goals and meaning.

"The devil will make work for idle hands to do."

Perhaps the overriding element that sets human beings apart from other animals is the ability to identify, analyse and solve problems. This is what enabled us to develop to where we have.

If this ability is under-used, the imagination can start to create problems of its own - perhaps in an attempt to give you something to do because it is not occupied doing anything else.

Regardless, if a person is deprived of the outward focus and satisfaction created by achieving goals, mental illness is often close behind.

The need for meaning is perhaps even more profound. Viktor Frankl's book 'Man's Search for Meaning' documents the impact of lack of meaning on concentration camp prisoners, of which he was one. He says in it that "What is the meaning of life?" is a question that is asked of you, not one that you yourself ask. It is a hugely powerful and important read when considering mental health.

4. Connection to something bigger than oneself.

Tying in with the need for meaning, this basic need provides a context for a person. It gives them a reason for being, over and above their own personal needs, that has been shown to benefit the immune system, mental health and happiness.

The obvious candidate would be religion, but can also be an idea shared with others, a club, charity work. In fact, anything that takes the focus off the self.

5. The need for creativity and stimulation.

Learning something new, expanding horizons, improving on existing skills all provide a sensation of progress and achievement. Without this, a person can feel worthless, or that there is no real reason for their being.

6. The need to feel understood and connected.

Tying in with the need for attention, it seems that people have a need to share their ideas, hopes and dreams with others close to them. For some, this can be as simple a talking to a loved pet, but for most of us, it requires that we have at least one individual with whom we can converse 'on the same level'.

7. The need to feel a sense of control.

"All your eggs in one basket."

The results of total loss of control over your surroundings, relationships or body are not hard to imagine, and have been well documented.

From survivors of torture, to someone losing their job, those who are able to maintain a sense of control somewhere in their life fare the best. This is why having a variety of interests and activities is so important.

Many Needs, One Life

It may seem that a life that meets all of these needs would be intolerably busy. But of course, one activity can meet many needs. Charity work for example, could be said to fulfil 1, 3, 4 and 5, and could contribute to 6 and 7.

Walking with a friend as a pastime might go towards 1, 2, 3, 5 and 6.

Generally, what this suggests, and what has been borne out by recent research, is that a more complex life is a more healthy one.

Then if one area of life fails or is taken away from you, your basic needs are maintained, at least in part, by those that survive.

So the message is...

If your progress through life has gone a bit awry for you or a friend, check if there is petrol in the car, and that the battery is charged before going to a mechanic to have the engine taken apart!

From: http://www.uncommon-knowledge.co.uk/emotional_wellbeing/steps.html