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Got a ride home with someone I thought was some Asian co-worker from my former job. I felt 'safe' with him, whoever he was. Then I was back with my 'parents', though that left me slightly upset, as I figured I should really be back in my own place (where I live now). Interesting change - in the past in dreams I've always accepted being at my folk's place as suitable. Though see my whingeing from last night and you'll see how a phone call with my mother had upset me so I shouldn't be surprised I wanted less to do with them than usual.
Later, dream images turned darker. Some variation on the Lord of the Rings, but with Frodo and a few others having gotten caught at one point (instead of Pippin and Merry). Others getting pursued around, etc.
At one point, was in a darker room; felt like the dining room of my childhood home. I felt as if I were sitting talking with my eldest brother (though I couldn't see him clearly), and that we were discussing the book. And he referred to the part in the Two Tower s where Pippin and Merry get caught by orcs and several of the good guys follow in an attempt to rescue them. And he asked me why Tolkien had done that, written the plot that way, and I, wanting to impress my eldest brother, very much in 'tag-a-long litt l e sister mode', said quickly that Pippin and Merry had that happen to them because 'someone had to be 'Pussy''. Yep; I used that term, which I NEVER use. Used it to impress my 'brother'. I somehow knew that was a term this person used and appreciat ed (don't recall my brother ever using that term in 'real life'). And I got that approval and amusement - that feeling of having gotten the 'right' answer. Was like I said it just before he was going to, so I proved I 'got it'. And it was definitely a disparaging term - female as useless, helpless thing to be threatened and rescued. And very disturbing to me that I felt I had to impress whoever this was so much I'd use a term that would put me down as well.
Last imagery I was left with before waking w as being on the run with others from the 'Fellowship' underground, but being left mostly behind, as I could barely squeeze myself, due to my body's thickness (note: last night shortly before bed I'd been kvetching to a friend in chat about my body size an d my attempts to modify that) through these narrow passageways and switchbacks. I just about could, but had to go very very slowly and painstakingly, was being left behind by the ones who'd gotten through more quickly, and capture by the orcs was imminent.
Not a fun night..
Later, dream images turned darker. Some variation on the Lord of the Rings, but with Frodo and a few others having gotten caught at one point (instead of Pippin and Merry). Others getting pursued around, etc.
At one point, was in a darker room; felt like the dining room of my childhood home. I felt as if I were sitting talking with my eldest brother (though I couldn't see him clearly), and that we were discussing the book. And he referred to the part in the Two Tower s where Pippin and Merry get caught by orcs and several of the good guys follow in an attempt to rescue them. And he asked me why Tolkien had done that, written the plot that way, and I, wanting to impress my eldest brother, very much in 'tag-a-long litt l e sister mode', said quickly that Pippin and Merry had that happen to them because 'someone had to be 'Pussy''. Yep; I used that term, which I NEVER use. Used it to impress my 'brother'. I somehow knew that was a term this person used and appreciat ed (don't recall my brother ever using that term in 'real life'). And I got that approval and amusement - that feeling of having gotten the 'right' answer. Was like I said it just before he was going to, so I proved I 'got it'. And it was definitely a disparaging term - female as useless, helpless thing to be threatened and rescued. And very disturbing to me that I felt I had to impress whoever this was so much I'd use a term that would put me down as well.
Last imagery I was left with before waking w as being on the run with others from the 'Fellowship' underground, but being left mostly behind, as I could barely squeeze myself, due to my body's thickness (note: last night shortly before bed I'd been kvetching to a friend in chat about my body size an d my attempts to modify that) through these narrow passageways and switchbacks. I just about could, but had to go very very slowly and painstakingly, was being left behind by the ones who'd gotten through more quickly, and capture by the orcs was imminent.
Not a fun night..
