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Dream partly (I know) inspired by a Cracked article read yesterday - about how insecurity and fear had caused a teen to become a neo-nazi skinhead for a few years, before he went to jail, then got his head together and went straight after release.
I was in some interior; felt trapped/at risk, and at one point, was so frustrated/frightened that I... apparently threw a young woman down some shaft (Ventilation? Laundry? Don't know, but was a shaft).
Later had escaped from that place; ended up back safe with my people...who were, apparently, the Jedi. I found myself waiting, in a room, where this bunch of Jedi (including at least some of the main characters from the most recent movie) were gathering. Exactly who was there wasn't completely clear, but I knew it included Luke (as a fully mature Jedi Leader) and Leia (as a fully mature female Leader, and something like a relative to me if not actual). At one point, Leia (next to whom I was sitting) realized I was there (an Oh there you are moment), and I leaned over to give her that brief little semi-hug / peck on the cheek that one gives familials.
So... I was sitting there, full of Guilt, Shame, & Dread... because they were gathering for an inquiry as to who threw that young person down that shaft. (The person so assaulted had, it turned out, been a 'good guy', and fortunately had survived, might even have not been hurt much, or at all, but everyone was of course concerned about who had done such a violent thing.) Obviously, they didn't yet know it was me, and I could have chosen to hide/deny it as long as possible... But I knew (hence the dread) that I had decided I personally had no choice but to 'fess up, and admit it to them. So I was waiting for them to look at me with that Concern / Disappointment / Suspicion / etc when they found out I'd done such a 'Dark Side' deed - in other words, had Major Fear Issues and might be at risk for turning Dark Side.
But I knew that running from taking responsibility for what I'd done would just make everything worse and prolong the (emotional) agony.
Really, Really wasn't looking forward to the moment I had to reveal it'd been me....
I was in some interior; felt trapped/at risk, and at one point, was so frustrated/frightened that I... apparently threw a young woman down some shaft (Ventilation? Laundry? Don't know, but was a shaft).
Later had escaped from that place; ended up back safe with my people...who were, apparently, the Jedi. I found myself waiting, in a room, where this bunch of Jedi (including at least some of the main characters from the most recent movie) were gathering. Exactly who was there wasn't completely clear, but I knew it included Luke (as a fully mature Jedi Leader) and Leia (as a fully mature female Leader, and something like a relative to me if not actual). At one point, Leia (next to whom I was sitting) realized I was there (an Oh there you are moment), and I leaned over to give her that brief little semi-hug / peck on the cheek that one gives familials.
So... I was sitting there, full of Guilt, Shame, & Dread... because they were gathering for an inquiry as to who threw that young person down that shaft. (The person so assaulted had, it turned out, been a 'good guy', and fortunately had survived, might even have not been hurt much, or at all, but everyone was of course concerned about who had done such a violent thing.) Obviously, they didn't yet know it was me, and I could have chosen to hide/deny it as long as possible... But I knew (hence the dread) that I had decided I personally had no choice but to 'fess up, and admit it to them. So I was waiting for them to look at me with that Concern / Disappointment / Suspicion / etc when they found out I'd done such a 'Dark Side' deed - in other words, had Major Fear Issues and might be at risk for turning Dark Side.
But I knew that running from taking responsibility for what I'd done would just make everything worse and prolong the (emotional) agony.
Really, Really wasn't looking forward to the moment I had to reveal it'd been me....