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When I am mundanely stressed (in this most recent case, a hitherto unsuccessful job hunt)...that's when I turn back towards concentrating on esoteric rumination - turning to online sources of discussion of esoteric paranormal phenomena. And this time, that also happened to have me turning back to a particular msg. board, one which I used to hang out on alot back when I was involved in the now defunct online comradship with a few fellow-seekers of esoteric 'knowledge', a relationship that ended 'badly'.
Funny coincidence, that. Just in time to distract myself from my current life issues.
IMO, the magic/paranormal-related group we were in wasn't really about the paranormal stuff we felt we'd experienced...or, if that was truly involved... it was the least important element.
It was really about us learning about ourselves via the 'mirrors' of others.
If we were willing to see.
This is what I have decided was the case for me.
How I see myself now: Still having a genuine interest in matters spiritual and the big Questions re: Life... and from time to time still feeling out of control of my life...and at those times, seeking desperately for distraction from dealing with those mundane issues that I'm not sure how to handle.
And boy, for some months back in '00-'01...did I find Distraction. And an 'identity' that soothed my stressed-out, poor self-image. And to this day, I still do seek that, intermittedly. In between making real progress out there in 'mundania'.
(And the 'ego-strokes' from being perceived at times by others as someone who 'knows esoteric stuff' due to 'weird experiences' don't hurt either, eh? *wink-wink, nudge-nudge* ;>)
Is it any wonder that I lable all other folks who frequent that sort of online 'paranormal' subculture - at least, self-proclaimed 'public' attention-seeking ones as I have been - and to an extent, still are - as having similar motives as the ones I feel I've had to acknowledge regarding myself?
Didn't think so.
Yeah, I can only really speak for myself.
Well, there - I've said it.
And I still believe my analysis about folks from that subculture is essentially correct.
Funny coincidence, that. Just in time to distract myself from my current life issues.
IMO, the magic/paranormal-related group we were in wasn't really about the paranormal stuff we felt we'd experienced...or, if that was truly involved... it was the least important element.
It was really about us learning about ourselves via the 'mirrors' of others.
If we were willing to see.
This is what I have decided was the case for me.
How I see myself now: Still having a genuine interest in matters spiritual and the big Questions re: Life... and from time to time still feeling out of control of my life...and at those times, seeking desperately for distraction from dealing with those mundane issues that I'm not sure how to handle.
And boy, for some months back in '00-'01...did I find Distraction. And an 'identity' that soothed my stressed-out, poor self-image. And to this day, I still do seek that, intermittedly. In between making real progress out there in 'mundania'.
(And the 'ego-strokes' from being perceived at times by others as someone who 'knows esoteric stuff' due to 'weird experiences' don't hurt either, eh? *wink-wink, nudge-nudge* ;>)
Is it any wonder that I lable all other folks who frequent that sort of online 'paranormal' subculture - at least, self-proclaimed 'public' attention-seeking ones as I have been - and to an extent, still are - as having similar motives as the ones I feel I've had to acknowledge regarding myself?
Didn't think so.
Yeah, I can only really speak for myself.
Well, there - I've said it.
And I still believe my analysis about folks from that subculture is essentially correct.