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2017-07-21 07:07 am

Dreams 07/21/2017

Guit/Stress dreams.  Dreamed I was in a house, and I let my cat go too close to an open (no screen) window while were on the 2nd floor, and I was sitting with my feet on the windowsill...and he lost his balance slipped, and fell out.  I didn't freak (for a wonder), but got up and carefully, deliberately looked out and down.  I caught a glimpse of him down there, and got that he was still alive.

Went down and out to find him, and found him being attacked (in a slow way) by another cat. Chased the other cat off him and was preparing to pick him up and take him inside. Said to myself in a self-congratulatory way,"This is why we get them their rabies shots!!"
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2017-07-19 07:13 am

Dreams 07/19/2017

Random collection of travel dreamage.  Considered going somewhere by bus or train, but didn't go in the end, I guess. Also, hung around a fairground area; was going to go see a specific exhibit, but waited too long (saw one guy and his friends apparently sneak in but not really as it turned out).  People were breaking down that area.  Might have been 'balloons' (shades of missing the balloons being up at a balloon festival a couple of weeks back).
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2017-07-17 07:05 am

Dreams 07/18/2017

Wandering around somewhere abroad - presumably the UK, based on the dream details - with my 'parents'.  At one point, they told me we'd be having an audience with the Queen (!).  I, however, wandered off, started walking around the city (presumably London?) with two young women.  Not sure how much I knew them, but I started to get that 'should get back; will miss audience...' feeling.  They, on the other hand, seemed dismissive of that or at least said they'd not go (if they had the chance?), but from shyness, apparently.

I headed back and at some point felt I'd found my mom, but she was standing doing something on a little stage with two other women, and also she kind of looked more like Hilary Clinton (!!) at that moment.  I expressed guilt over being late getting back, and tried to get a clear answer from her; had I missed the audience?  Didn't get a clear answer by the time the alarm woke me up.
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2017-07-16 01:57 pm

Dreams 07/17/2017

Was wandering around in France. Not sure I'd taken enough money or maybe not changed it to francs (I'd forgotten about the Euro thing). Was wandering about, looking for shops. Was about to head back whence I'd come, thinking I ought to check my wallet and see what I had in there. Realized I'd have to try to use my broken French to communicate, ugh...
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2017-07-14 07:41 am

Dreams 07/14/2017

Was wandering around a house, apparently with no one home. Except possibly a cat. Seemed to be my Ex's house...or at least 'felt' like it. That said, it was not anything like what I recall of the home he grew up in.   At one point, heard a noise from one room went to confront it.  Turned out to be a radio or some other piece of equipment that ad gone on automatically, presumably due to a timer.  I think I turned it off, despite knowing it kinda wasn't my business to do so, then prepared to leave. Heh.
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2017-07-13 06:55 am

Dreams 07/13/2017

Was wandering the grounds of my childhood home, but there seemed to be a bunch of people there who weren't usually there, now or in the past.  I went down near where an old barn, now a foundation, used to stand, feeling as though I might be able to fly or float, if I will it hard enough. It was almost as if I might be trying to 'run away' from the people up in the house.  However, I was soon distracted by seeing one of the neighbors (with a few helpers) from the next lot over fell a tree, which fell onto our land, whereupon they trespassed and proceeded to start butting the tree up.  I dithered, wondering if I ought to confront them but not willing to just go do so, when a bunch of the people fro the house came trooping protectively down to confront them. I kind of sighed mentally in relief, as they'd do it, but at the same time I felt a bit foolish - of *course* the trespassers had to be confronted - so they wouldn't just assume they could do that the of thing.

As the group came down and around me, I saw that a workplace co-worker (my workplace's CIO, who shares space with the library operations) was one of the people coming down.  I also noticed the on-going conversation which included the CIO's opinion that this was a nice little plot of land; would make a nice little farm if it were managed that way (it never was a proper little farm though there was gardening and chickens when I was growing up). We were suddenly all also sampling cheese and thin, lacey crackers, I think.  Almost as if a preview of what could be done with the place. Products that could be created and sold.

The trespassers had been sorted, I suddenly noticed - they were gone, but the cut up tree trunk was there.  Not sure what the outcome was -whether  they left and we kept the tree for it being felled on our side, whether they would come back later and take part or all of the trunk, or whether hey'd just outright been run off.  
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2017-07-12 06:33 am

Dreams 07/12/2017

Road-tripping.  Was on a bus with others (but not a full bus), but, after finding out from the bus driver the ultimate destination, got off.  But then waffled, wondering if I ought to try to get back on the bus.  Got the impression it was stopping in 'Litchfield' (in MA, but there's one in CT,not MA), but ultimately going to WYOMING (why I got off) - as if the route it was on led in a straight, way line, to that place. I seemed to be with my dad, trying to figure out if I could even get back to / intersect with said bus again.
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2017-07-09 12:50 am

R.I.P. Drake the Dragon

 Bit shaken after having become aware, earlier tonight, of an internet friend's passing, over a week after it happened. (It didn't help that LJ dutifully reminded me of his birthday just the other day...obviously no response to my unknowing well wishes.)

Though we never met in person, he'd been a followed friend since early in the Internet era, in the mid-nineties, with much fun having been had with the Doctor Who fan gang in #drwhochat, the IRC channel he'd founded. We were an eclectic, diverse bunch, and very open and accepting, all with a love of Doctor Who in common.

While I haven't followed the fortunes of all the regulars from there since IRC stopped being a Thing, I did keep in touch with a number of them, including some who made the migration to Face Book, as George had.

George Solana (Drake online) didn't get out; by that I mean that over the years, while he met at least a couple of the IRC gang when they were able to drop by and visit him in Florida, he never got out to meet the majority of the denizens from #drwhochat in person.

Even so, the salutatory effect that his creation of #drwhochat, a sort of virtual Doctor Who-themed Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, had on many of his fellow fans cannot be understated.

You done good, Dragon. Thanks for creating the place that helped hold all that fellowship and all those memories.

Virtual though you remained to most of us...your presence *will* be missed.

kalibex: (Default)
2017-07-07 06:58 am

Dreams 07/06/2017 II

2nd set of dreams had this morning during the shallow sleep had after a pitstop. Involved wandering an interior, some type of residence.  There were others there, including apparently a family, and the male there seemed to be having a birthday. Despite not knowing him well, I felt I ought to do something to acknowledge the day, but wasn't able to ask any of his family what might be best - the suite of rooms where they were staying suddenly had the door shut, so I was out of luck.

A bit later, was with a woman, could have reminded me of a local friend or a Boston acquaintance, not sure which. We might have been outside or outside in a vehicle about to road-trip somewhere; not clear.

Definitely a low blood sugar period this morning.
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2017-07-05 07:21 am

Dreams 07/05/2017

Interior Wanderings.  Got into an elevator in a building, going up to what I thought was my job.  However, it was a 'laboratory', not my current job at all. Got the impression, possibly from some of the other people who were about, that I may have been going up 'early', but still went up. It might have been my 'first day'. I began my usual confused, vaguely anxious wanderings, feeling that I was already behind schedule, that I really needed to get going, get work done, stay organized, and so, keep up with my boss's expectations. Except, I was having trouble even finding our lab bay, as I was wandering the usual laboratory complex labyrinth.  Also, fairly as usual, I didn't think to ask bystanders exactly where it was I needed to go to get back to our area, possibly as that would twig them to the fact that I wasn't in complete control and knew what I was doing...? (Imposter Syndrome, apparently, writ large.)

Somewhat unusually, this time, a man, who appeared to be my boss, approached and interacted with me directly.  Also less usually, he was black (I recall inside noting that this was the 1st time I'd had a person of color as a boss). He crouched or briefly knelt down (I also noted this action as...different than the usual), and expressed to me (not necessarily verbally) a combination of the following: He was my 'boss' (or possibly - I was the person who had come to work with/for him)/Welcome/He seemed glad to see that I was aware of how the work being done there could be difficult/challenging/important.  Looking back at it, it was almost as if he were trying to make me feel better (or less bad) about my anxiety about the 'work'. Or possibly, to 'normalize' my anxiety (but so I wouldn't feel anxious about feeling anxious - if that makes sense). Perhaps an attempt to compliment me for caring so much or something.  I had automatically lowered myself a bit so we were both doing the same crouch or kneeling move, but as he got up again, I did so also, but, missing that familiar gesture of handshake, kind of automatically reached for his hand to shake it. On the order of 'Where's my handshake?  There's supposed to be a handshake.' He gave off an impression of not expecting that, but went along with it (i.e., didn't protest or pull away) as we got up.  Then he continued forward on his way and I went forward on my way, still worrying...

*    *    *

After an early morning waking/pitstop, slept and dreamt again.  This time, was in a complex that felt to my more like my current workplace (possibly due to feeling like my (female) boss was around).  I was poking through some clothing, trying some of it on, I think - not my usual workplace duty.  I got the impression that I was told some of it had my mother's...though I started to twig to the fact that might not have been the case, as some sandals (bright bue-green, with ties that you would wind around your ankles) that I tried seemed to fit me - and we didn't have the same size feet. Another item, a little jacket or shirt hitting at the waistline in back but with some longer points coming down in front, seemed to be a double-cloth, reversible item - beige or taupe/blue-green. Needless to say, none of it was anything that I recall that my mother had worn in Real Life™.
kalibex: (Default)
2017-07-04 08:47 pm

Dreams 07/04/2017

Time spent in interiors. One scenario I still remember had me interacting with a black women. I may have offered her a drink that I had, though I added that it wasn't full; I'd drunk some.  However, she didn't seem to mind, indicated she still wanted it, and came over and started to demo some strange hand moves to me.  
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2017-06-30 08:03 am

Dreams 06/30/2017

 A myriad of montages - but I most recall being in a room (reminded me of the living room of my childhood home), where people were at some type of gathering.  A former co-worker from my current job (he started out as a student worker, later after graduation got a job with Admissions) was there. My boss, who was also there, made some somewhat teasing joke aimed at him, whereupon he laughed right out loud, seeming mightily amused.  I was sat further in  but close enough to her to reach back and 'high-five' her.
kalibex: (Default)
2017-06-26 05:15 pm

Dreams 06/26/2017

In my workplace; saw a co-worker coming from the stairwell to take over the front (service) desk . (This may have been related to an upcoming event today where I'd be at a meeting, and not able to be on desk if necessary.)

*   *   *

Wandering in a suburban area; seemed to be wandering around with a local friend.  Impression that we had somehow been on a 'highway', then took an 'exit' to a specific area. Thing was, we seemed to be just walking around.
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2017-06-25 10:19 am

Dreams 06/25/2017

Wandered/travelled in an urban setting, then stopped by a museum.  At least, it seemed like a museum in that there were various areas that one wandered through (that labyrinthine feel that many museum have), with interesting things to see. Within, I picked up this piece of cardstock or some other stuff material which seemed to have some shapes on it, that might be possible to push out, to take off the sheet.  Almost like a craft supply. After wandering around a bit, though, I put it back or left it behind, as if I'd decided I didn't really need it (or that it wasn't mine, and I shouldn't have messed with it to begin with).  While being in this place, there was the usual foggy-mindedness / confusion, that 'Where am I? Why am I here? Ought I to be here at all? feeling. (Taking a moment to ponder: is this what, cognitively, it felt like to be a very young child, for example...being taken on an Outing to an unfamiliar place - but we've all Forgotten?) I recall vaguely coming across or occasionally interacted with people briefly while there; just so unclear.  For all I know, my attention could have been directed to the item, but then I might have misinterpreted (and then it a bit later communicated to me that no, it wasn't available to take home)...like when a toddler child gets interested in something, them the parents gently distract the kid and get him/her to change mental gears and leave the object behind, hopefully without the kid having an emotional meltdown.  This recall  / interpretation reminds me of how in our culture, the legal definition of adulthood is a certain age (by which the majority of people have attained a certain level of cognitive function)...but that lacking that, a person can at times never ever achieve the legal definition of 'adulthood', and remain forever, legally, a 'child', unable to live independently or make decisions as an adult.

So the question becomes...'where' or 'when' am I in these dreamscapes...that I appear, when I look back... to be functioning as the technical equivalent of a 'child'...?

*   *  *

Felt I was at the home I grew up in, that my dad and eldest brother were there.  I paused in the room that used to be my parents' bedroom; it seemed to have my eldest brother in residence.  I could hear or sense them chatting in the kitchen downstairs; I noted (with disapproval) that a red lamp, something hung up (in a jury-rigged way; it could be used as a table lamp, but there was a hole drilled this handle it had coming off one side, so that it could be screwed up to the wall if desired) to one side of the bed, had been left on in the daytime, and so, shut it off preparatory to going back downstairs. (This lamp IRL has been used in other rooms; don't recall it ever being used in a bedroom, but hey; who knows?)
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2017-06-23 07:04 am

Dreams 06/23/2017

A handful of people, including me, were going to the moon.  Don't know why, or why we wren't in the usual/expected NASA rocket/capsule get-up (we were moving around freely), but we were going.  It took a day. There was this sense of couldn't go back, could only go forward. One thing I do know was, there were giant/mega slices of pumpkins in one hold.
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2017-06-22 05:15 am

Dreams 06/22/2017

 A mish-mash of scenes...seemed to involve interacting with multiple people, as if there were some threat or challenge, and we were working together to deal with a complicated situation.

In one, some of us seemed to be in some weird, run-down cellar or basement area. We left it, but I returned a bit later.  In another, I may have returned to a location we'd also left, but this time, paid much more attention to these two little creatures, whom I seemed to interact with, possibly 'tame' in some way.  They may have hid in some..'.aluminum foil'...but were wont to fly about; I may have held them and/or fed them something; that seemed to habituate them to me somewhat.  A woman, I guess part of that extended group, also stopped back by the location, and noted what I'd done, looking at the creatures herself.  A bit later, I saw someone coming up a road on a hillside, as if he were on some kind of skateboard (but a hill so steep that he might not have been self-propelling)...
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2017-06-21 06:23 am

Dreams 06/21/2017

Vehicle / Interior Complex wanderings.

In passing, saw my mom and dad, sitting, spending quiet time together. (That may be all they wanted - to just be next to each other - where nothing more needed to be said or done.)  

*  *  *

Had a bus ride where the driver at one point got out, and the bus went on a bit without him, though it came calmly to a stop (in a field).  I (and it seemed to me, others on the bus) sat there bemused for a bit.  I had baggage (like a rucksack), but this specific spot wasn't my destination. I looked at a couple of other passengers (guys) with that "Really?! The dude just let it go on without him driving it?" look and they seemed to commiserate back at me in agreement, that sense of "I know, right??" (not necessarily verbally.) A couple of young women got off, and I saw them stood at the side in the field, as if gathering themselves before setting off, and I thought to myself with a mite of indignation, "I don't blame them."  Presently the driver returned, not at all embarrassed by his actions.  The bus might have been about to continue on at that point; not sure whether I stayed on or got off also.

*  *  *

I approached a female in an interior, which felt school-like.  The woman felt as if she were a professor's GA or TA, and I seemed to be offering to take an examination - though it's not clear I'd taken the course.  I might have volunteered to take the exam (which may possibly have been a bit more like a research study process) just to see if I happened by pure chance to know enough to 'pass'.  I expressed that to her and she agreed to it.  The exam process involved some prompting from her, but part of it let the person taking it involve materials that the others in the class had probably brought with them. So I had to hurry back to my room and fetch a print of a tiger (and possibly other things as well).  Off I hurried, heading to an elevator into which two young women were also getting.  Just before that, noticed two males who seemed to have bruises on their faces (?) stood off to the side.  Got off a floor (and a half?) above my correct floor as I got distracted and got off when the two young women did.  But I knew I could just walk over to where two separate buildings connected and go down a few steps, which I did.

Alarm woke me before I got to my destination.
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2017-06-20 06:48 am

Dreams 06/20/2017

Lots of the usual wandering about.  Thought my dad was about somewhere.  For a bit, had this yen to take a family friend (definitely older than I, completely white-haired) as a romantic partner, I think - then I recalled that he (or at least who I thought he was) was married (had had kids, etc.) and nixed that!  I also backtracked with some possibly stupid excuses - my cat (who was also wandering about) would have no cat box to use!  There may also have been a dog involved who would need walking, I thought.  IE, these were excuses not to go visit the fellow in the immediate short term.  I think I headed back to where I'd been staying before, looking for where my cat was.
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2017-06-19 06:20 am

Dreams 06/19/2017

Was in a school setting, interacting with a young(ish) fellow - wondering if it was some type of tutoring situation.  Presently, someone else came out from some part of the immediate area, and I expressed to the younger guy that now I got it; he was getting free tuition as his dad worked there. (though didn't say it in that exact way).
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2017-06-14 07:22 am

Dreams 06/14/2017

Hanging out with a fairly familiar group.  We seemed to be located in an hotel. I went in and out of an hotel suite, feeling probably that common deference (or caution?)that I tend to feel. Some or all of of us or all of us had travelled somewhere recently; we decided to (kind of last minute) go back again. So we were all running around getting ready, packing, etc. I was dithering with getting my ticket (plane, possibly). I remember looking in various closets, trying to pack wha I wanted to bring. In one moment, I saw my eldest brother nearby, commenting on some part of the prep process, then I peeked in my childhood closet, looking for stuff.