kalibex: (Default)
( Jul. 21st, 2017 07:07 am)
Guit/Stress dreams.  Dreamed I was in a house, and I let my cat go too close to an open (no screen) window while were on the 2nd floor, and I was sitting with my feet on the windowsill...and he lost his balance slipped, and fell out.  I didn't freak (for a wonder), but got up and carefully, deliberately looked out and down.  I caught a glimpse of him down there, and got that he was still alive.

Went down and out to find him, and found him being attacked (in a slow way) by another cat. Chased the other cat off him and was preparing to pick him up and take him inside. Said to myself in a self-congratulatory way,"This is why we get them their rabies shots!!"
kalibex: (Default)
( Jul. 19th, 2017 07:13 am)
Random collection of travel dreamage.  Considered going somewhere by bus or train, but didn't go in the end, I guess. Also, hung around a fairground area; was going to go see a specific exhibit, but waited too long (saw one guy and his friends apparently sneak in but not really as it turned out).  People were breaking down that area.  Might have been 'balloons' (shades of missing the balloons being up at a balloon festival a couple of weeks back).
kalibex: (Default)
( Jul. 17th, 2017 07:05 am)
Wandering around somewhere abroad - presumably the UK, based on the dream details - with my 'parents'.  At one point, they told me we'd be having an audience with the Queen (!).  I, however, wandered off, started walking around the city (presumably London?) with two young women.  Not sure how much I knew them, but I started to get that 'should get back; will miss audience...' feeling.  They, on the other hand, seemed dismissive of that or at least said they'd not go (if they had the chance?), but from shyness, apparently.

I headed back and at some point felt I'd found my mom, but she was standing doing something on a little stage with two other women, and also she kind of looked more like Hilary Clinton (!!) at that moment.  I expressed guilt over being late getting back, and tried to get a clear answer from her; had I missed the audience?  Didn't get a clear answer by the time the alarm woke me up.
kalibex: (Default)
( Jul. 16th, 2017 01:57 pm)
Was wandering around in France. Not sure I'd taken enough money or maybe not changed it to francs (I'd forgotten about the Euro thing). Was wandering about, looking for shops. Was about to head back whence I'd come, thinking I ought to check my wallet and see what I had in there. Realized I'd have to try to use my broken French to communicate, ugh...
kalibex: (Default)
( Jul. 14th, 2017 07:41 am)
Was wandering around a house, apparently with no one home. Except possibly a cat. Seemed to be my Ex's house...or at least 'felt' like it. That said, it was not anything like what I recall of the home he grew up in.   At one point, heard a noise from one room went to confront it.  Turned out to be a radio or some other piece of equipment that ad gone on automatically, presumably due to a timer.  I think I turned it off, despite knowing it kinda wasn't my business to do so, then prepared to leave. Heh.
kalibex: (Default)
( Jul. 13th, 2017 06:55 am)
Was wandering the grounds of my childhood home, but there seemed to be a bunch of people there who weren't usually there, now or in the past.  I went down near where an old barn, now a foundation, used to stand, feeling as though I might be able to fly or float, if I will it hard enough. It was almost as if I might be trying to 'run away' from the people up in the house.  However, I was soon distracted by seeing one of the neighbors (with a few helpers) from the next lot over fell a tree, which fell onto our land, whereupon they trespassed and proceeded to start butting the tree up.  I dithered, wondering if I ought to confront them but not willing to just go do so, when a bunch of the people fro the house came trooping protectively down to confront them. I kind of sighed mentally in relief, as they'd do it, but at the same time I felt a bit foolish - of *course* the trespassers had to be confronted - so they wouldn't just assume they could do that the of thing.

As the group came down and around me, I saw that a workplace co-worker (my workplace's CIO, who shares space with the library operations) was one of the people coming down.  I also noticed the on-going conversation which included the CIO's opinion that this was a nice little plot of land; would make a nice little farm if it were managed that way (it never was a proper little farm though there was gardening and chickens when I was growing up). We were suddenly all also sampling cheese and thin, lacey crackers, I think.  Almost as if a preview of what could be done with the place. Products that could be created and sold.

The trespassers had been sorted, I suddenly noticed - they were gone, but the cut up tree trunk was there.  Not sure what the outcome was -whether  they left and we kept the tree for it being felled on our side, whether they would come back later and take part or all of the trunk, or whether hey'd just outright been run off.  
kalibex: (Default)
( Jul. 12th, 2017 06:33 am)
Road-tripping.  Was on a bus with others (but not a full bus), but, after finding out from the bus driver the ultimate destination, got off.  But then waffled, wondering if I ought to try to get back on the bus.  Got the impression it was stopping in 'Litchfield' (in MA, but there's one in CT,not MA), but ultimately going to WYOMING (why I got off) - as if the route it was on led in a straight, way line, to that place. I seemed to be with my dad, trying to figure out if I could even get back to / intersect with said bus again.
kalibex: (Default)
( Jul. 7th, 2017 06:58 am)
2nd set of dreams had this morning during the shallow sleep had after a pitstop. Involved wandering an interior, some type of residence.  There were others there, including apparently a family, and the male there seemed to be having a birthday. Despite not knowing him well, I felt I ought to do something to acknowledge the day, but wasn't able to ask any of his family what might be best - the suite of rooms where they were staying suddenly had the door shut, so I was out of luck.

A bit later, was with a woman, could have reminded me of a local friend or a Boston acquaintance, not sure which. We might have been outside or outside in a vehicle about to road-trip somewhere; not clear.

Definitely a low blood sugar period this morning.
kalibex: (Default)
( Jul. 5th, 2017 07:21 am)
Interior Wanderings.  Got into an elevator in a building, going up to what I thought was my job.  However, it was a 'laboratory', not my current job at all. Got the impression, possibly from some of the other people who were about, that I may have been going up 'early', but still went up. It might have been my 'first day'. I began my usual confused, vaguely anxious wanderings, feeling that I was already behind schedule, that I really needed to get going, get work done, stay organized, and so, keep up with my boss's expectations. Except, I was having trouble even finding our lab bay, as I was wandering the usual laboratory complex labyrinth.  Also, fairly as usual, I didn't think to ask bystanders exactly where it was I needed to go to get back to our area, possibly as that would twig them to the fact that I wasn't in complete control and knew what I was doing...? (Imposter Syndrome, apparently, writ large.)

Somewhat unusually, this time, a man, who appeared to be my boss, approached and interacted with me directly.  Also less usually, he was black (I recall inside noting that this was the 1st time I'd had a person of color as a boss). He crouched or briefly knelt down (I also noted this action as...different than the usual), and expressed to me (not necessarily verbally) a combination of the following: He was my 'boss' (or possibly - I was the person who had come to work with/for him)/Welcome/He seemed glad to see that I was aware of how the work being done there could be difficult/challenging/important.  Looking back at it, it was almost as if he were trying to make me feel better (or less bad) about my anxiety about the 'work'. Or possibly, to 'normalize' my anxiety (but so I wouldn't feel anxious about feeling anxious - if that makes sense). Perhaps an attempt to compliment me for caring so much or something.  I had automatically lowered myself a bit so we were both doing the same crouch or kneeling move, but as he got up again, I did so also, but, missing that familiar gesture of handshake, kind of automatically reached for his hand to shake it. On the order of 'Where's my handshake?  There's supposed to be a handshake.' He gave off an impression of not expecting that, but went along with it (i.e., didn't protest or pull away) as we got up.  Then he continued forward on his way and I went forward on my way, still worrying...

*    *    *

After an early morning waking/pitstop, slept and dreamt again.  This time, was in a complex that felt to my more like my current workplace (possibly due to feeling like my (female) boss was around).  I was poking through some clothing, trying some of it on, I think - not my usual workplace duty.  I got the impression that I was told some of it had my mother's...though I started to twig to the fact that might not have been the case, as some sandals (bright bue-green, with ties that you would wind around your ankles) that I tried seemed to fit me - and we didn't have the same size feet. Another item, a little jacket or shirt hitting at the waistline in back but with some longer points coming down in front, seemed to be a double-cloth, reversible item - beige or taupe/blue-green. Needless to say, none of it was anything that I recall that my mother had worn in Real Life™.
kalibex: (Default)
( Jun. 25th, 2017 10:19 am)
Wandered/travelled in an urban setting, then stopped by a museum.  At least, it seemed like a museum in that there were various areas that one wandered through (that labyrinthine feel that many museum have), with interesting things to see. Within, I picked up this piece of cardstock or some other stuff material which seemed to have some shapes on it, that might be possible to push out, to take off the sheet.  Almost like a craft supply. After wandering around a bit, though, I put it back or left it behind, as if I'd decided I didn't really need it (or that it wasn't mine, and I shouldn't have messed with it to begin with).  While being in this place, there was the usual foggy-mindedness / confusion, that 'Where am I? Why am I here? Ought I to be here at all? feeling. (Taking a moment to ponder: is this what, cognitively, it felt like to be a very young child, for example...being taken on an Outing to an unfamiliar place - but we've all Forgotten?) I recall vaguely coming across or occasionally interacted with people briefly while there; just so unclear.  For all I know, my attention could have been directed to the item, but then I might have misinterpreted (and then it a bit later communicated to me that no, it wasn't available to take home)...like when a toddler child gets interested in something, them the parents gently distract the kid and get him/her to change mental gears and leave the object behind, hopefully without the kid having an emotional meltdown.  This recall  / interpretation reminds me of how in our culture, the legal definition of adulthood is a certain age (by which the majority of people have attained a certain level of cognitive function)...but that lacking that, a person can at times never ever achieve the legal definition of 'adulthood', and remain forever, legally, a 'child', unable to live independently or make decisions as an adult.

So the question becomes...'where' or 'when' am I in these dreamscapes...that I appear, when I look back... to be functioning as the technical equivalent of a 'child'...?

*   *  *

Felt I was at the home I grew up in, that my dad and eldest brother were there.  I paused in the room that used to be my parents' bedroom; it seemed to have my eldest brother in residence.  I could hear or sense them chatting in the kitchen downstairs; I noted (with disapproval) that a red lamp, something hung up (in a jury-rigged way; it could be used as a table lamp, but there was a hole drilled this handle it had coming off one side, so that it could be screwed up to the wall if desired) to one side of the bed, had been left on in the daytime, and so, shut it off preparatory to going back downstairs. (This lamp IRL has been used in other rooms; don't recall it ever being used in a bedroom, but hey; who knows?)
kalibex: (Default)
( Jun. 23rd, 2017 07:04 am)
A handful of people, including me, were going to the moon.  Don't know why, or why we wren't in the usual/expected NASA rocket/capsule get-up (we were moving around freely), but we were going.  It took a day. There was this sense of couldn't go back, could only go forward. One thing I do know was, there were giant/mega slices of pumpkins in one hold.
kalibex: (Default)
( Jun. 9th, 2017 07:26 am)
 Wandering about in some urban area. Not a lot of details, but enough vague impressions popped up after I awoke to know I definitely dreamed.
kalibex: (Default)
( Jun. 6th, 2017 06:59 am)
 Was in some interior; some woman was there.  I had to go do something somewhere else, but apparently, I would return to that area, later.
kalibex: (Default)
( May. 15th, 2017 05:35 am)
Seemed to be spying on some army (ours?) during night time while they were doing 'war games'.  There was the sense that if you look like you know what you're doing, especially during 'chaos', few to none will notice or challenge you.  I was semi 'dug-in', and lay there and watched flashes of light and explosions from a safe distance, and a couple of times people passed by behind me, but again, no challenge or alarm.  Eventually, I got up and went walking away. Wandered into an area with more objects (maybe structures) and people.  The camp, perhaps?

*    *    *

Wandering in an urban area (may or may not have been an extension of the prior scenario). Was going through a building where I felt I may have been there before; things, the layout, what doors were open and what spaces being used were slightly different from last time (hence my deja vu). Someone seemed to have just vacated a really small retail/office space with no bathroom, etc., in the unit (there may have been a common one in the complex). I thought something to the effect that despite the small size, there'd soon be someone who would want to use that space again.
kalibex: (Default)
( May. 14th, 2017 04:18 am)
I went to the house I grew up in (that I visited part of this past weekend to see my dad) and found a young woman was in the process of intensely cleaning the kitchen area and was even making some changes (in where things were, how furniture was, where things were going to be stored). I was, to be honest, a tad 'envious', I guess would be the word, as part of me had wanted to be the one to do this task.  (Or could have been at least minor guilt or shame, as I maybe thought I ought to have done it.) I also found her smoking (i.e., a cigarette was going in an ashtray)  as she cleaned, and so warned her that the person who lived there had quit smoking years ago, and it would not be fair to expose him to temptation again by doing that.  She apologized for that, though in a Ionlydothat[smoke]veryoccsionally sort of way, kind of downplaying her action.

A bit later, I came back yet again, and saw her leaving, walking away somewhere, and verbally thanked her.  There was even a new entryway to the kitchen (I was, in Real Life™ only yesterday grumbling to myself about the choices my parents had made while adding an additional part of that main entryway after I'd moved out after High School). All in all, I had to admit though, that she'd done an Amazing job (though art of it was seeing it totally clean for a change, without all the objects and clutter in it).

*    *    *

I gort a call from someone at the place where I work; she seemed to be (or reminded me of?) a (moderately deferent) Indian student worker there from this past semester. She seemed to convey that there was something out of the ordinary going on at work (was she on a work shift???) or at the school.  I think because of this call, I went in to the school. But instead of seeing her in the library, I saw her in a classroom.  For some reason I stopped by there, and saw her going to (apparently) the 1st meeting of a new class. May have been an evening/ nighttime class. Saw the (black, female) professor telling the students a bit about herself, etc. The professor seemed like a cool lady. I may have shaken her hand or otherwise indicated it was nice to have met her.  Then, i guess, I left again. (??) Again, the general feeling that something 'out of the ordinary' was going on there in general, though am left unclear as to what that quality was.
kalibex: (Default)
( May. 5th, 2017 05:27 am)
 Was in an urban area, wandering about, with that POV /  should-I-even-be-here? confusion.  I saw that the Authorities had a female prisoner, someone who had, perhaps, been involved in or leading a rebellion. They declared publicly and falsely, that their prisoner had died. She was actually tied to a post, just out of site of the public, looking beaten and bused, with huge, pendulous breasts hanging down.  They'd lied so that they could continue to degrade her at their leisure with the public (they assumed) no wiser.

But I observed one man, just an ordinary looking man, who'd apparently stopped by to see the spectacle, walk away from the area, as if back to work.  But actually, he stopped to chat with a woman in a square nearby, and surreptitiously passed on the real news. They were talking...planning some kind of uprising.

I wandered away from their conversation briefly, then tried to make my way back to them again, but got confused and wandered in to a cozy, large family restaurant.  Thinking that I oughtn't to be there, I tried to find my way through and back outside, but in there, too, the restaurant staff were, rather than getting annoyed that I'd stumbled in there, intimating, subtly, that an uprising was in the works.

I returned to the square, but the man had finally left, back to work, perhaps to keep up the pretense that he was just an ordinary functionary. But the word had been passed on, and the ordinary folk now knew that the woman - and, presumably the desire for freedom and an uprising (if that was what it took) - was still very much alive.
kalibex: (Default)
( Apr. 26th, 2017 06:54 am)
 Not a lot of detail left now, but some (low-key but anxious) adventure happening while moving around outside, where I really had the feeling that something similar to the scenario from 'Invasion of the the Body Snatchers' was happening - people were 'coming down with something', and it was just a matter of time before it got me, too.  Whatever it was, getting it seemed (to me) to be tantamount to dying. However, by the time I awoke, the 'worst' hadn't quite happened to me, yet.  Not sure if that means I was misinterpreting the situation or how severe it was, or what....
kalibex: (Default)
( Apr. 12th, 2017 02:59 pm)
Was spending time with three people: my 'eldest brother', some female companion of his whom I was not familiar with, and some other guy who just kind of stared at me from where he was sitting in the front seat of a car, and didn't say anything. Initially, I was in an area of the place I grew up in, a barn/shed area not far from the house, and was kind of sprawled on the floor there on my stomach, kind of hanging out, perhaps reading something or just thinking. And what I was thinking was that I felt like leaving my brother and his companions behind - just striking out on my own.

In fact...I'm wondering if I was questioning that they were people I wanted to be stuck with. Almost as if I wondered or knew on some level they weren't whom they seemed to be, and had an instinct to get the hell away from them. *meaningful sidelong look*

Anyway, before I could act upon my sudden idea, they came out from the house - they were going to go drive somewhere, some errand, possibly without me. (Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky?) I do know that I was hoping they didn't know what was on my mind, and acted as normally as I could, towards that end. The woman said they'd need something from me (vague impression that they were going to the town CVS, and needed my CVS key tag for them to scan at the store). Or something like that. This is the point where the other guy, whom I did not feel I knew, stared wordlessly at me.  I think I agreed to go get the keys/tag for them, wanting to be helpful and not be suspected.

Recall faded or, woke up at that point. Don't recall if anything else happened, if they left me alone, and if I snuck off once they did.
kalibex: (sabbath)
( Mar. 5th, 2017 08:26 am)
Was visiting the home of an LJ friends-lister (though this person is also on FB). Point being, this person has been a friends-lister through several different social media migrations. Anyway, this person lives in Scotland, yet the house his family was in (in Real Lifeā„¢ this person does not live with his parents) had a room layout startlingly similar to my childhood home (which is American federal tradesman, late 18th, early 19th century). I was there to, I think, look at or borrow some book, maybe something technical in some way - from this guy. So I was wandering a bit while he went to get the book, starting to notice the similarities. So when he came back, I started to ask him when his house had been built - I was figuring that it had to be a similar time period, as I could in no other logical way explain such bizarre similarities... (which were quite unique - weird little non-standard architectural features of my childhood house which are not typical of the federal period - if I recall correctly, they're a result of alterations made by my parents long ago after a house fire they had in the late 1950s). My recall faded before I got any answer I can remember.

I find my attempts to use logic during dreams interesting - might be a step towards lucidity.
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